Forgiveness for the Sake of Allah

Wow, i haven't blogged on here in a very long time... These past few months have truly been a test for me.. I've seen deaths, divorces, and dreams deferred... etc.. but one thing stood out recently.. a friend of mine asked me do you forgive the ones that you thought wronged you? do you forgive people that you don't think deserve it? And so I immediately pondered on the question before answering... while pondering this verse and hadith came to my mind...

"Those who avoid major sins and acts of indecenecies, and when they are angry they forgive" (42:37) and,

The Prophet Muhammad (sws) said: "Those who are merciful have mercy shown to them by the All Merciful One"

finally I answered if you would have asked me this 4months ago I would have probably said no I don't forgive; however, today for the sake of my own soul I've learned to accept the will of Allah (swt) and forgive alhumdulilah.. This has increased my "pusuit of happyness." I now SMILE more, I Now Laugh more, and i've learned to enjoy my time here while I have it... if it's one thing I have learned these past few months is that you never no when your time will end..and this has allowed me to prepare for this a little better...

With recent events that occurred in my life... people come up to me and ask you're not angry? You still love them? I say No and Yes all for the sake of Allah (swt)... They continue to say man you're better than me... I say to them and "Which of The Blessings of Your Raab will you deny?" I continue by adding I asked for Allah (swt) for this.. I asked Him to remove the things that were distracting me from my deen, remove the things that I had put so much focus on.... so why be angry about Allah (swt) answering my dua's no matter how hard they may seem to deal with now... I know Allah is the Best of Planners....

After that they still say but.. but... but.. look at what has happened.. it's like the love never existed... you're not angry about how things are turning out or what's currently going on?? I say about a few months ago yes indeed.... but now I continue to make dua for them everyday... asking Allah to heal their Hearts, and allow them to return back to this perfect deen as soon as possible.. and remove the things that they are enaged in that keeps them from focusing on Al-Islam whole-heartedly as well... I say this is how I show that I care..what does being angry show or do for me....

Alhumdulilah it took me a long time to get to this point in my life..,. May Allah (swt) continue to heal my heart and allow it to be softened and full of light, increase my Iman daily, and icrease the characteristic of showing mercy so on the day of judgement I too will be shown Mercy... Ameen

Dinner Party

So I finally decided to cook!!!

Every party must start out with drinks!!!

Strawberry Daqari's- Of Course VIRGIN

Din Din Time!!!!

Appetizer's & Entree

Bacon Wrapped Scallops, Stuffed Shrimp, Creme Spinach, Mash Potatoes, Lemon Pepper Wings, BBQ Wings, Sweet & Sassy Wings,

Dessert is a must!!
Fried Ice Cream

Ice Cream Frying-Umm

Ice Cream Fried!!! My guest absolutely loved it!

Gifts are a must for a party so I sent my guest home with these!!

No Cupid Just Good Food!!1

Ok so I love to cook, I love food, I love eating food, I love going to fancy smancy restaurants and snobbing about how undercooked my filet was and how my fried lobster had more seasoning then the one I paid $50 all because I went to a so called reputable restaurant!!

Ok so that said since I've started my lifestyle change (formally known as diet-but you know for PC purposes I have to say lifestyle change) I haven't really had an exciting meal much less cook one. So I decided that's what I would do to this weekend--- return to my first cupid and cook!

Bacon-Wrapped Shrimp with Grilled Corn & White Cheddar Cheese Grits

"Breakfast shrimp and grits" has long been a staple of the South, the favored morning repast during the busy summer shrimp season. Now, renowned Southern cuisine mavens have dedicated this famed Southern dish to many of their restaurant menus and for that I'm glad. I remember I first had this simply exquisite dish and it's wasn't at the fancy smancy but the Corner Tavern with my cupid and I absolutely fell in love that day. So ever since I've been dying to make it so that will be on this Saturday's menu! A simple classic!

I want....

I want....

loveNot just love, I want to be IN love. I mean like swinging around the "L", hopping through the "O", and swinging from the "V" to the "E". All in it, lol. I want to surpass my own notions of what love could be, has been. I want to surprise myself, and the man who will have my heart. I want every kiss to be deep, whether its a long wet one or a simple peck on the lips. I want my stomach to feel warm everytime he tells me how he feels about me. I want him to make me feel like, I can't stay mad at him. I want the make up sessions to make me forget why I was even mad in the first place. I want to memorize the rhythm of the palpitations of his heart...which of course will belong to me. I want the sound of him inhaling, then exhaling...to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I want to blush 10 years in, just because he winked at me. I want him to be able to kiss my hand, and feel it on every inch of my body. I want to feel protected, shielded, warm. I want...children, made with care, pieces of us both to come together and make people who are even more beautiful and passionate than we are. I want our love to be untouchable, timeless, personal, publicly private.


This desire doesn't derive from outside images of candy coated love stories. Its in my soul, I was built for it. I think most people were built for it, but the pain and heartache they are continuously put through dims the light more and more on each occurrence. There have been points in my life, very recently in fact, where I have felt that I didn't believe in this type of love anymore. I think the issue is that I have never really come close to it. And every time I do, they find a way to make me change my mind. Find a way to push me away, without even knowing they are pushing me away. It seems as if they feel, "oh she loves me, she isn't going anywhere. I'm just gonna show my ass and I KNOW she will find a way to deal with it because she loves me". I want a man who doesn't think like that. I want a man who puts in work to make sure I am not sad or heartbroken, because he knows I will do the same. Who will never break my heart to fulfill his own tenuous desires. Who finds comfort in comforting me, my tears summon his tears. I want to feel the satiating warmth of tears of joy, for once. I want him to watch the movie I wanna see, just because he is curious about what I like. I want him to go from watching that to watching me sleep, and for him to look forward to me waking up next to him every morning. I want his heart to ache when I'm far, because mine will when he is. I want him to charm me, tell me I'm beautiful, even after he knows he got me sprung. I want him to think I'm gorgeous even when I make ugly faces, lol. I want us to lay around for hours conversing about nothing, and everything. I want our love to transcend that fear of expression. I want us to want to be reunited in Jannah, and to be reminders to one another of how to get there. I want us to be selfless for one another, but selfish with each other. I want him and I to become...US

My close friend